Friday, December 19, 2008
the holiday story: santa vs the zombie army!
it was christmas eve and Santa was at his work shop getting ready to take off in his sleigh when he ordered an elf to get his sack out of the tool shed. The elf walked outside only to find a person lying on the ground moaning. The elf did what was natural and went to help the person, " sir are you all right", he squeaked. The man jumped up and bit a chunk of flesh from the elf . the elf yelped and ran back into the factory. "Frost zombies,.....They are attacking, RUUUUUUN." Santa immediately reached into his slay and pulled out an AK 47, but he was too late the elf had already transformed and bit several other helpers. the helpers did all they could but soon the workshop would inevitably be a workshop of hell. Santa whipped out his cell to call for backup, he called the one person who could get there fast enough, "sonic get over here and bring back up" Santa demanded. "Sure thing, speeds my game." seconds later sonic, shadow, knuckles and tails dashed onto the snow covered streets of New York City. Santa dashed out of the shop into his panic room and loaded himself up with weapons. he threw on his ammo and grenade belts and cocked his shot gun. "time to kick some holly jolly butt" Santa yelled while kicking his door down. sonic and the crew ran to London to get Allard and Lara croft, to Tokyo to get neku, to a secret military base to get snake, to hyrule to get link, to mushroom kingdom to get Mario, peach and Luigi, to Italy to get the hit man reborn, and to many other lands to gather up an army of video game/ cartoon characters. Santa held of the zombies as long as he could. "ARGHHH!" he yelled as he threw his last grenade. he collapsed on the ground covered in blood and completely out of artillery. He had only one thing left to defend himself, his bare fists. as the zombie elves started to move in towards him, he finally realized how vast the army was, there were thousands of them. He pulled himself up and took a last stand as he used the kung-fu techniques he learned from the Easter bunny to fend off the zombie elves. as the army of gaming idols approached Alaska, they were all thinking the same thing, "just a little more time Santa, were almost there." Santa was running out of steam, he was just about to give up when he saw something fall from the sky, several other flaming objects followed. When the falling objects hit the earth Santa saw smoke rise from an area that was now covered in metal and zombie guts. from the wreckage five smoky figures emerged. Master chief emerged as the first figure plowing through the zombies with his battle rifle. he was followed by an enraged gears of war character, marcus fenix. following marcus was the arbiter slashing through zombie skulls with his beam sword. the two other characters emerged in mid attack, slashing there swords around like mad men. they were the devil may cry character Dante and Nero. "Woooo hooo, lets get this party STARTED!" Dante taunted. "Stop running your mouth and fight already." nero barked. "AHHH! CAN IT WIMP" Dante yelled. they fought there way through the crowd to Santa just in time to save his sorry butt. " Theres no way we can take all of these zombies!" master chief yelled. just then off in the distance spartan drop ships approached the stranded Santa and his friends. The ships brought back up, leading the incoming army was sonic. The army of gaming characters jumped out of the drop ships. The battle had begun. all of the characters grouped up into pairs of two. The warriors that fought that day made a valiant effort. How ever not all could end well. pikachu and bugs bunny were a team that fought long and hard, but there efforts were futile. Pikachu jumped up and tryed to fend of the 50 or so zombies that were surrounding them. "CHUUUU" he screeched as he used almost all of his power to knock out about half of the zombies that were trying to eat his brains. he fell to the ground after using the last of his energy but the zombies he shocked were only paralyzed. bugs bunny ought him and started throwing carrots made out of razor blades at the zombies but the zombies just kept getting back up. the zombies closed in on pikachu and bugs bunny and the pair could not defend themselves. the zombies ate them alive. another pair that fought to kill, but were not strong enough were princess peach and the arbeter. princess peached beat the crap out of a lot of zombies with her umbrella. eventually her umbrella broke though and she was hopeles. arbeter tryed to save her but he had no one to watch his back and a zombie snuck up on him from behind and ate him and peach. meanwhile snake was setting up an emergeny infirmary tent. santa was brought in for immediate treatment of his wounds. He needed to deliver presents but the take off strip for his sleigh was covered with zombies. he called alucard and said "allucard my dear friend, we need you to use your mighty vampire strength to team up with nero and dante to clear the run strip, one it is cleared, gather up all the game character and move them into the bomb shelter, im going to drop a sleigh nuke."
allucard accepted his orders and met up with dante and nero on the run strip. dnte pulled out his pistols and shot 2 bullets, the 2 bullets ripped through the skulls of 50 zombies each. compared to the estimated 20,000 that were atacking them this was a miniscule amount. allucard in a blood lust turned into his dracla from and started literally ripping apart hundreds of zombies at once. nero started up his sword, the red queen ripped through hundreds of zombies and set fire to many others. After about twenty minuites the run strip was cleared of the twenty thousand zombies and santa stated up the sleigh. allucard then shouted to all the suriviors, " INTO THE BOMB SHELTERS BEFORE IM TEMPTED TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD TO!" the army of game charachter bloodied and bruised ran into the shelter and locked it shut. the only people left outside of the shelter were alucard and snake. " The only chance of survival we have is if we go into the bomb shelter" snake said. "but there is only one space left" alucard pointed out. snake just looked up into the sky and sighed, "the sky is beautiful up here at the north pole, it warms my war hardened heart." allucard looked at snake. "go inside the shelter, this old man doesent have much longer to live anyway, ill see you in the next life." allucard retreated into the shelter and, but he turned around one last time and simply exclaimed "thanks old friend."
snake stood on the ground as the remaining zombies surrounded him. he saw santa up in the sky. santa yelled down to the zombies "merry christmas, now go to hell!" The ground shook under snakes foot as the gray missle fell to the earth, a flash ripped through the sky and a boom echoed out in the night. snake stood still with his gray eyes twinkling as a single tear rolled down his cheek. right then he was engullfed in the explosion. thanks to the video game army, santa delivered presents to boys and girls all around the world